This is actual material our affiliates received one day recently.

 

DR. PHIL - SHOCK   Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher has electro-shock therapy once every six weeks to help her cope with manic depression that turns her mind into a ball of "cement". The movie star-turned-author was diagnosed as a bipolar sufferer in her 20s and has battled mental illness and severe bouts of depression ever since. "Did you see One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest? Well, it's (electro-shock therapy) not like that... A lot of people have had it that benefited from it.

 

DP: Hey, (DJ)! This is Dr. Phil...how you comin' with that Tequila therapy I put you on?! I know you normally don't like your medications administered through shots, in this case, you don't seem to mind!

 

DJ: Speaking of therapy, Dr. Phil, what do you think about Carrie Fisher revealing that she gets electro-shock therapy every six weeks?

 

DP: Well, it's fairly common! In fact, I get electro-shock about once a month...when I open my utility bill! YIKES!

 

DJ: Have you had any experience with the therapy?

 

DP: Yeah, I had a patient once go through electro-shock therapy! It wasn't a good outcome! Beforehand he was only depressed, but afterwards, he was depressed AND AC/DC!

 

DJ: I'm sure you're joking...

 

DP: Not really! Fortunately for him, the electro-shock didn't affect his work...he was a conductor!

 

DJ: Groan...

 

DP: I saw that Carrie Fisher interview on Oprah; man has she gained weight! I remember her as Princess Leia...but now, she looks like she's been eating lunch every day at Jabba the Pizza Hut! Look, I gotta go; but I want you to continue with the Tequila therapy,! You can suck the lime, but with your blood pressure, better skip the salt! BYE!

 

 

 

HILLARY CLINTON - GRANDMA  'I'll probably be an unbearable grandmother': Hillary Clinton on Chelsea, grandchildren and other women's handbags. Speaking in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar, Mrs Clinton said that she'd probably be an 'unbearable' grandmother, but she'd love it if her newly-married daughter, Chelsea, were to have children. Mrs Clinton, whose daughter, 30, married investment banker Marc Mezvinsky last July, looked elegant in a grey tailored suit and pearls in the magazine.

 

HC: Yes, this is Hillary Rodham Clinton! How are you this morning, (DJ)?!

 

DJ: Doing great, Your Hillaryship. We've been talking about your comments in Haper's Bazaar about potentially being a grandmother.

 

HC: Ha ha ha! Well, I'm not one of those mothers who's going to badger their daughter to become pregnant! And that chart I put together of Chelsea's ovulation schedule is merely for entertainment purposed only! No pressure!

 

DJ: What do you want to be called, "grandma," or "Nana," or "granny"?

 

HC: Call me sentimental, but I hope my grandchild would call me, "Secretary of State Clinton!" It just sounds a little more respectful!

 

DJ: Indeed it does. Will you and Bill ever babysit?

 

HC: Of course! I hope Chelsea knows that any time she needs a baby sitter, Bill and I would be glad to...cough...have some of our staff watch the little rug rat! UH, the precious little angel!

 

DJ: And which are you hoping for, a grandson or granddaughter?

 

HC: Oh, I don't care if it's a grandson or a granddaughter, as long as it has all it's fingers and toes...and is a Democrat! Which it WILL be...as soon as it's eyes are open! Oops, I need to go, (DJ)! According to my chart, Chelsea and Mark need to get horizontal, pronto! Thanks! BYE!

 

 

 

EXTRA JOKES

 

(Daily Mail) - Joan Rivers barges in on daughter in the shower... and takes naked pictures of her. Joan Rivers's daughter may well be regretting letting her mother move into her Los Angeles pad. A shocked Melissa was shrieking in horror after her mother barged into the bathroom while she was showering. The 77-year-old comedian then proceeded to take photos of her 43-year-old daughter on her mobile phone. The 77-year-old comedian is trying to persuade Melissa to take part in a photoshoot for Girls Gone Wild. For some reason Joan appears very keen for Melissa to take part, saying she is 'determined to make it happen'.

 

 *Sounds more like Mothers Gone Wild!

 *Why does the word "Psycho" keep popping into my head?!

 

 

(Newser) – A Los Angeles County employee lay dead and slumped over her desk in an office cubicle for what could have been as long as a day before anybody noticed, police say. Rebecca Wells, a 51-year-old auditor who had recently become a grandmother, was found by a security guard Saturday afternoon, KTLA reports. She had last been seen alive at 9am Friday morning, say detectives, who suspect she died from a stroke or heart attack.

 

 *Now that's what I call a "critical employee!"

 

 

(Newser) – It's not exactly the most surprising news of the day: Borders is filing for bankruptcy protection and will shutter about 30% of its stores—or about 200 locations—over the next few weeks.

 

  *Well, at least SOME of our borders are closed!